• this time •

I couldn’t eat today, and I don’t know why. I want to fade away and I want to cry. I didn’t sleep last night and I don’t know why. I hope tonight will be different as we lay beneath the night sky. Got out of bed for the eleven thousandth time. You’d be impressed if you could feel how hard it was to lift my head. I brushed my teeth today. It’s about damn time. You would be proud if you had seen how hard it was to lift my hands. I almost slipped today, and I don’t know why. I swore that it would be different this time. I ate a meal today, I think that’s good enough. You would agree if you just knew how hard it was to keep it down. I swear it’s gonna be different… I swear it’s gonna be different. I almost slipped today, and I don’t know why. I swore that things would be differen― I didn’t slip today, and that’s quite alright. I know that things will be different this time.